The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
