She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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