i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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