Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
