So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
