I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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