so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
