you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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