im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
