No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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