I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
