Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
