ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize