You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
