I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
