brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
