yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize