I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
