i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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