Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
