I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
