Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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