weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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