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I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
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