If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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