Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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