try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think my fart just growled at me.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
