help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
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Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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