I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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