i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
