the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
