before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
