it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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