D3 body, D1 cock
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
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It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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