he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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