She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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