New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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