I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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