Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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