if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
