THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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