i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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