i don't like sucking hair
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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