He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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