dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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