Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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