Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
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I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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