It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
