My Higher Power is John Stamos
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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