I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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