you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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