We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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