You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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