He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
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She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
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Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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