I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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