I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
there is puke in my bra ... again
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
