If i come over, it means nothing
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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