singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My penis needs a shock collar
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
