Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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