So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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