Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
